If you have read any of my musings, you know I am a geek.  Unabashedly.  One part of my geeked - ness is my LOVE of words, their origin (etymology) and our common use, or connotation.

The etymology of the word connotation includes the Latin root “con” meaning “with or together”, and “notare” meaning “to make a note, or sign, means of recognition”.  A word’s connotation is what we together take the word to mean, what we agree the word represents.  

In my word-spelunking I frequently find the “denotation” of a word (with the “ de” from the Latin “completely”) more precisely corresponding to the definition or original use of the word as symbol.

So what, right?

Well, the connotation of words is often-times one of those brain tricks that hides a truer meaning of a concept, and lets us continue experiencing a reality that is more fantasy -- layers of thoughts away from the light of truth.

One example is the word ‘content’.  What do you first think of?...  ‘Content’ as “things enclosed” like in a container?  ‘Content’ as “state of mind which results from satisfaction with present circumstances”?... Both meanings for the word come from the  Latin root “con”/”com” (“with”/”together”) joined with the Latin root tenere “hold”.   Even though both meanings have the same roots, the way we think of and use  these words - their connotations - are the layers of thought that give the concepts their particular meaning for any one of us.

For me, what if ‘content’, as in that state of peace of mind so elusive for most Westerners, more accurately means to “hold together”?  What if “enclosing” or “containing” is the way to be “content”?

The first experience I had with this possibility was when I started exploring Integrative Medicine, almost 15 years ago.  Integrate refers to “bringing together the parts”, or rendering something whole.

The concept in medicine was to combine “conventional” Western Medicine with “alternative” therapies like acupuncture/Chinese Medicine, Herbology, massage….

This journey for me started in 2006 , when I got sick after years of working full-time in Emergency Medicine, with an unhappy marriage, and 2 young boys, trying (miserably) to create the “perfect life”...  Finding healing in balance, in ways of medicine other than what I was taught in allopathic medical school (M.D.),  I opened up to more of the whole.   Studying Integrative Medicine meant bringing all the disparate parts back together in a whole way of helping people with dis - ease. Hard to help others achieve balance, when I was a model of chaos theory in 3D.  

After a few weeks (yes, only weeks) of meditating, morning yoga, and dropping mid-day glasses of wine in favor of less processed plant food ;), the fatigue, arm numbness, and headaches went away. Completely.  I was stunned.  And sold.  I tell people that’s when I “went off the deep end”, studying holistic nutrition, yoga, meditation, and any healing method I could find.

One surprising aspect of Integrative Medicine was the need to integrate not only different ways of healing the physical body, but acknowledge the inseparable nature of the emotions and the physical body.  First, realizing that since different “emotions” were really physiologic states [check out this mind-blowing article from my FAVE blogger Eric Barker] resulting from neurotransmitters/hormones (physical molecules) acting in the tissues of the body, there was no easy way to distinguish between “physical” and “non-physical’ -- is a thought “non-physical” and the resulting emotion “physical”? Or what about an emotion that results in thoughts? These waters are deep for me...so, back to the shore….

For me, I found that as I acknowledged, respected, allowed, even be-friended my “emotions” -- ALL of my emotions, a curious thing happened.  I became more content.  I held all of these states in a way that allowed the emotions to be what they were, without resisting or demanding they change to “happy”. It took a deeper look at the connotations these emotions held, into the truth they represented.  Most of all a willingness to just feel the feels - I think that’s where the song “Wait” came from.

So this long, geek-laden musing is about finding the way to “content” - to contain ALL that we are, individually and together.  And from that place of contentment, continue to discover the pieces of ourselves and each other that still long to be held, together.

Check out my FAVE poem by Rumi -- “The Guest House”