she feels the cold

small-weighted stone

and throws it in the lake

a little thing 

she can control -

so different from the hate

she shuts her eyes

to listen hard,

soft-clicking wind through leaves,

sits on hot grass

and wraps her

too-thin arms around her knees

she breathes this world

where each small life’s

a frequency that fits

Here, she is safe -

this Mother grounds, 

embracing all of it.

so, for a moment

(maybe three)

she falls into a dream

heart stretching far

beyond dirt roads,

sweet…

Every one of the thousands of huge vermillion torii (gates) found at the Fushimi Inari Taisha (Shrine) was a gift honoring Inari, the Shinto god of rice.  Each of these massive structures represents donations valued from $40,000 to $1,000,000 from individuals and companies celebrating prosperity and abundance.  As you can see, the torii are placed every few feet, and cover over a mile of trails leading up the mountain. 

Walking in the sacred space, through gate after gate up the moss-covered stone and dirt…

Ahhh...3:30p Tokyo time...1:30 am in the States...just out on the crisp (50 degree F) clean streets and made it to a coffee shop.  Sitting in the smoking section of Doutou with a cappuccino and cream roll, and my latest vape incarnation to worship at the altar of sweet mother nicotine...aahhhh. Period. 

Life? Dunno. Musing for sure, after 18+ hours of American Gods by Neil Gaiman of Good Omens legend...waiting for the scaffolding to rearrange…. 

Looking at the buttoned-up patrons through a stink of tobacco…

Gratitude for this place...and the Earth we all share 

If you have read any of my musings, you know I am a geek.  Unabashedly.  One part of my geeked - ness is my LOVE of words, their origin (etymology) and our common use, or connotation.

The etymology of the word connotation includes the Latin root “con” meaning “with or together”, and “notare” meaning “to make a note, or sign, means of recognition”.  A word’s connotation is what we together take the word to mean, what we agree the word represents.  

In my word-spelunking I frequently find the “denotation” of…

What happens when we let go of the eyes we have relied upon for a lifetime, and try to see with our heart?

In Mark Nepo's "The Book of Awakening:  Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have", he retells a story by a blind Frenchman, Jacques Lusseyran.  Mssr. Lusseyran describes fear as the only thing that truly prevented him from seeing:  

"Still there were times when the light faded, almost to the point of disappearing.  It happened every time I was afraid.  If, instead of letting…

Years ago, laying in bed in the upstairs family room of my "fairytale castle", I first heard the voice in my head.  For those of you in medicine, this is not usually something welcome.  For others accustomed to prayer or meditation, trusting that inner knowing voice is a more developed muscle.  For me, it started an argument.  "No I'm not going to write songs for an album.  Are you kidding?"  Worse yet, the Knowing spoke the album title:  "Blanket of Melancholy".... "HELL, no!  If I'm writing music, it's…

Maybe the reason I stayed in a life that didn't fit for so long was because even with the chaos, it made sense.  There was a tidiness in the labels - I was a doctor, a scientist, a rational person.  Even when I dove into alternative medicine in 2005, rounding out my family practice/emergency medicine background with knowledge about plant medicine, bodywork and energy healing, I was still a doctor. "Integrative medicine", they call it.  I considered the transformative effects I saw in patients just by…

Last year, I left behind a meaningful, secure, profitable life with a decades-long career in medicine for a trip in the woods.  I had flirted with music as a sideline for most of the last ten years, then decided to create a business, write songs, and record an album in 2016 -- responding to a growing fire that I considered the calling of my heart and soul. The intention to "live my dream" felt good, but the reality felt overwhelming.  Yo-yo ing back and forth between the music project and…